Baseball & Football



右のGeorge Carlin と間違えて、左のDennis Miller を発注してしまったのである。要するにあご髭に惑わされて混同したのだが、DVDで再生しみるとなんか違う。記憶の中の声の質や話し方、ネタの傾向と食い違っている。それで、初めて記憶の中のイメージと異なり頭が禿げてないのにも気がついた次第である。

違和感をもとに、記憶に残っているネタをWebで検索したらモロに出てきた。まったく、Google様々である。こんなことなら初めからDVDを発注する必要もなかったかもしれない。Baseball and Football (抜粋参照)がそれである。





もちろん、形式としてのボケとツッコミは、米国のアニメ、映画、など様々な場面で見られるのだが、コメディアンという形態ではあまり見ないように思うのだが、これはなぜだろうか ? 現在鋭意究明中である。これに対して、アメリカの漫才師(マルクス兄弟のような古典、映画キャラは除く)をご存じの方は是非ご連絡下さい。



Geroge Carlin


Baseball is a nineteenth-century pastoral game.
Football is a twentieth-century technological struggle.

Baseball is played on a diamond, in a park.The baseball park!
Football is played on a gridiron, in a stadium, sometimes called Soldier Field or War Memorial Stadium.

Baseball begins in the spring, the season of new life.
Football begins in the fall, when everything's dying.

In football you wear a helmet.
In baseball you wear a cap.

Football is concerned with downs - what down is it?
Baseball is concerned with ups - who's up?

In football you receive a penalty.
In baseball you make an error.

In football the specialist comes in to kick.
In baseball the specialist comes in to relieve somebody.

Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, piling on, personal fouls, late hitting and unnecessary roughness.
Baseball has the sacrifice.

Football is played in any kind of weather: rain, snow, sleet, hail, fog...
In baseball, if it rains, we don't go out to play.

Baseball has the seventh inning stretch.
Football has the two minute warning.

Baseball has no time limit: we don't know when it's gonna end - might have extra innings.
Football is rigidly timed, and it will end even if we've got to go to sudden death.

In baseball, during the game, in the stands, there's kind of a picnic feeling; emotions may run high or low, but there's not too much unpleasantness.
In football, during the game in the stands, you can be sure that at least twenty-seven times you're capable of taking the life of a fellow human being.

And finally, the objectives of the two games are completely different:

In football the object is for the quarterback, also known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack that punches holes in the forward wall of the enemy's defensive line.

In baseball the object is to go home! And to be safe! - I hope I'll be safe at home!